I Can’t Think Of A Good Title March 11, 2007

I just wanted to let you know that Reed and I are still here.
We’ve just been really busy. Last month turned out to be really hectic. We both lost our driving priveldges, and were subjected to the ordeal of having to take driving exams because of our nationality. Reed failed his first attempt at the exam, and had to wait a month before he could take the next one, during which time he had to scheldule driver’s ed., and renew his visa. My license expired two weeks later, not enough time to get things sorted so I could take an exam, which was probably for the best. I am glad that I had training for the test, and knew what to expect before taking it. I only had to ride to work with my boss for two weeks, but if I had failed, I would be looking at another four.
I am indeed very proud of myself for passing the practical driving exam the first time. My boss didn’t think I could do it. He demanded the I take more training hours than Reed because of gender stereotypes he lives by. He was even more upset when I not only declined but informed him that I would also be taking the exam in a manual instead of automatic. He grumbled and shook his head a lot. I also had to fight with the school about it, and I even went so far as to request a different instructor, because I didn’t feel that the man who was grumbling and tisking about my decision to drive a manual, a man who never let go of my steering wheel the whole time I was driving and constantly contradicted himself while making jokes with my boss (hearing the japanese word for woman repeatedly interspersed in the laughing was also a real set-off), was in any way capable of actually teaching me anything at all. And since it was my money, and my boss was forcing my to at least take as much training as Reed had had, I stood my ground. I was not going to except anything but what I wanted.
Then I passed the test. First time, one of three out of thirty. I passed when a group of mostly men had failed, some for their not-first time. I like to think I floored my boss. Well he was really surprised. He couldn’t stop talking about it. The first thing he said was (sorry Reed) “Your score was higher than Reed’s!” I thought he was joking. When I asked him about it later, as we were driving to the language school, he apologized for asking me to take more lessons than Reed. He had honestly thought that I was a worse driver (not that that isn’t true, BTW), but my scores were higher.
The next day he held my hand through most of the process of getting my license. He had to leave, at which point he had his son take over. By this time I’d had just about enough of being treated like I was incapable. Sure it helped to have them there for some things, but mostly as a way to save time. Many non-japanese people were there and taking care of it on their own. I felt very self conscious, and I was really bored. SO, I got a little short. I kept myself from marching up to his son and yanking my paper work out of his hands, but when the time came I did assert myself (without any agression, Yay! And yanking anything out of anyone’s hands is considered as rude in this culture as it would be in ours, only maybe slightly more so because of the custom of giving and, especially, receiving things with both hands. But then, my bosses son felt it was ok to yank my property, my book, my ipod, my paperwork, out of my hands so he could look at it. I actually grabbed my book and later my iPod away and then offered it to him, a gesture I sometimes use to remind children to ask permission). I’m not sure I got the point across, but I felt better about taking care of myself. I had debated it for about an hour before taking action. It’s so easy to just let things go. I had to keep asserting myself, I had to keep fighting. Maybe I was just that bored.
But now it’s three in the morning and I’m tired and incoherent. I’ve just divulged a lot of last week’s frustration. As much as it’s over and done, feel free to speculate, I would enjoy some feed-back. Right now though, I’m so thankful that the license battle is over.