Back Again February 25, 2008

It was so boring before. I guess I should start with a dream I had several years ago. I won’t go on about the details of the dream, but needless to say I still remember it. In this dream I had a symbol on my left shoulder. That is the symbol the dragon is swimming around. The dragon has a red belly to represent my grandfather. It has a green back to represent my heart. Dragons themselves control certain elements and traditional dragons carry symbols to represent all of the elements. That’s what the orb is for. The kanji is the symbol for love ‘ai’. My calligraphy teacher painted the original, in  gyosho style. The tattoos artist’s name is Aiko, which carries the same kanji for ‘ai’ and the kanji ‘ko’ which means ‘child’. When I asked her what I should name my dragon, her response was immediate.  I think ‘Aiko’ is the perfect name for this dragon, and I’m glad I finally got the tattoo I had dreamt about.

Music For My Long Drives, Music For My Heart November 29, 2007

Family, friends, music, they are the top three, or top five if you count spirituality. But I don’t as yet know where I am with my spirituality, although I am pretty sure it is rooted in the above three things.
Anyway, along my commutes I have noticed that there are certain songs that I favor while I’m driving. They change depending on whether I’m going to or coming home from my classes but ther are certainly some songs that I love that I just cannot stand when I am behind the wheel. and others that I’m not sure I’d listen to otherwise. Kind of like how my cousin puts on the AC/DC when he’s on HWY 80. I thought I might share this with anyone who cares to know, as it is definitly a major part of my experience here. I have also been thinking that it might provide some insight or something, at least help you share my experience. So I’m making a list, and I will send this music your way, if you wish.
Here are a few songs that will be on it:
Happy Birthday by Modeselektor
Arcadia by Apparat
Holdon by Apparat
Office Boy (CSS rmx) by Bonde du Role
Stuntman by Kasabian
15 Step by Radiohead
When the Levee Breaks by Led Zepplin (but you knew that)
Shazam! by The Beastie Boys
The Geek by Wir Sind Helden
Kaputt by Wir Sind Helden
Suckerpin by Modeselektor
The Dark Side of the Sun by Modeselektor
Scenic World by Beirut
Interplanetary by The Young Punx!
Mistaken For Strangers by The National
The Guest Room by The National
Crabbuckit by K-OS
Ooh La La by Goldfrapp
Dead Flowers by Rinocerose
Walk Idiot Walk by The Hives
Lost by the Mary Onettes
Little Montsters by Charlotte Gainsbourg
Sucka Mofo by Northern State
Starlight by Muse
Little bunny Foo Foo by The Moldy Peaches
Sealegs by the Shins
Blue Orchid by The White Stripes
Hands Open by Snow Patrol
Psyclone! by the Super Furry Animals
The Con by Tegan and Sara
I Feel It All by Feist
Sunrise, Light Flies by Kasabian
Brace Yourself by Les Savvy Fav
Hijo de Africa by MC Solaar
The Weight of My Words (Four Tet rmx) by Kings of Convenience
Pride by U2
Breakable by Ingrid Michaelson
Kids With Guns by Gorillaz

Anyway, this is not all of them, and I still have to sort them out for you, so you which ones get me to work, which get me back home and which ones break my heart along the way.
This unfortunately, is also not comprehensive, because I dropped my iPod four feet at my Halloween party, and wiped all its data. I had back-ups of the party mix, and many of my favorite albums and songs, but not everything. I’m kind of angry about it. It was in a case when it dropped. I would consider the idea that someone had messed with it, if it didn’t continue to malfunction. Anyway, it led me to make the decision to not by music from itunes unless I can’t find the music anywhere else. One good reason for this decision is that they promote really crappy artists. Another is that I won’t be able to share some of my favorite songs with you because I bought them on iTunes, and they limit the sharing of their files (so what happens if I get a new computer?).
It’s late, I’ll write more about this project later.

Doesn’t anyone else think so? November 5, 2007

Wow, two blogs in one week.
Well, I think I am going to try to blog whenever I get the urge to write what’s on my mind. I will also try to talk about cool events and things I do. Anyway, it will still be about my experience in Japan, because that’s where I’m living, and there are certain experiences one can have no where else — like the one I’m having now.
So two days ago I was presented with a member of a stack of ‘ABC’ flashcards, and asked if I felt it was okay to say ‘I’ as in ‘Indian’. I Wish I could leave room here for your response to that first question.
I was then asked if it is okay to say ‘Indian’, to which I responded “Yes, it is…yeah that’s okay and doesn’t bother me, though someone else might have a problem with it…But I do have a problem with the image…” The image on the card was of a young boy, dressed in leather pants and paint, holding a tomahawk war axe high, and his eyes were indeed crossed.
Failing to receive the needed answer, the same question was asked of other instructors. It came back around to me that night, in the form of a discussion on what ‘PCness’ (being politically correct) is doing to culture (I’m still not sure if by ‘culture’ he meant culture in general, or various cultures). But really it was more a less an obsure blast against being PC and the teacher who had a problem with the card (me). I dropped into this conversation somewhere near but not at the begining, so I got to hear part of the orators introduction. I agreed with what he said, to some extent, because I feel that PCness is just a cover, a safety blanket we use when we’re not sure if we are going to offend someone. Ultimately it does nothing to help us absolve those offenses, and people are often offended anyway. Besides what is deemed as PC changes with all the other latest trends. It’s really superficial and, as noted in this case, often causes anger or frustration. Anyway by the time he got to the card I could already sense where his speech was going. Then he brought up the card. He demanded to know why Indian was offensive, and how could using ‘Native American’ be better. I was not the only person there, but I was the only American — though I forgot that at the time — anyway I repsonded with “actually I think Indian is the best term, and I know many will agree, since it is the term prefered by every Indian I’ve ever met. It represents the fact that it is our oppressors who write history and choose what we are to be called.” I was then asked who gave the Indians that name, the British, the Spanish, or the Portugese. Of course the answer is “well I guess you could say Spanish, since they funded Colombus’s expedition, and it was he who was so determined to claim it was India that they later threw him in jail for his obsurdity.” (I wish I could have said it as well then as I can now, but when I’m a little drunk I often think I sound this good anyway. This is the gist of what I said, in less and more precise terms.) It was then stated that people at the time thought the world was flat (hmm, the anwer is no, which led to more discussion). I was having this conversation with two native English speakers, I felt pretty good, but I was leaving the original progenitor of this topic in the dust. (Well, I’ve sort of fallen into bragging here — haven’t I?). I said somewhere in this conversation “what bothered me about that card was the image,” which I explained. Unfortunatley, the point was lost. I’m afraid that no one else associates that image with the true problem that there is still a belittling of the culture obviously, for the card was purchased new. It was a throwback to the Disney cartoons that many have tried to forget. A little Hiawatha who can’t keep his pants up. So, where’s the card with the black, thick-lipped islander who wants to eat me for supper? Are there any other cards that use either ethnicity or nationality as a reference to phonetics? NO. If it were a whole alpahbet of nationality cards, the image would still be bad of course. So my orginal question: “Why can’t we just change it?” Why can’t we just say ‘I’ as in India, or indigo, or igloo? Or if you wan’t to say Indian, why not have a picture of Sitting Bull, or Crazy Horse? The occupation of Alcatraz in ‘69 would be a great way to represent the culture, at least for northern California. Better yet, why not something that represents the subcontinent?
Of course, I’d like to hear more opinions.

Hello! November 1, 2007

We just had a fantastic Halloween here. Now it’s back to work, with a tall order of organising and planning classes for the next three months. I have many varieties of feeling about this. I want to be a good teacher, and I think planning my classes is really important. I would do that part for myself regardless of anyone looking over my shoulder. But no one does. There’s the problem the plans are viewed and nit-picked once, then nothing happens. I have more than twenty classes I have to write twelve weeks of classes for in quite painstaking detail, just because…So I try to make them as useful for myself as possible. I know it sounds like i’m whining, but I also happen to have a lot more classes than about half of the teachers, on the same salary. Actually, what I need someone to say is “buck up champ, this is the real world,” or “We all work hard, stop listening to anyone who isn’t.” I mean, if I have to write 25 of these things for weekly private lessons, then writing lesson plans as school teacher is going to seem a lot easier, right? If I were a lesser teacher, it would be enough to glance at and wing a class last minute. I don’t know, maybe it’s a good thing — aside from the fact that classes never go as planned. Students get sick, they take business trips, they come to school onry or tired. I not being left room in my plans to account for missed days so I write in a lot of review. I hope it works. Point is I’ll never be able to reference these and know exactly what I’m supposed to do, no matter how much detail is there, and no one else looks at them (but maybe I should stop telling myself that, or listening to others say it). But I am getting the hang of it. I’m starting to put it together. And I’m trying to figure out how to make the hoops I’m jumping through work for me. I really think I’d go insane otherwise. I hate being given tasks that seem to have no purpose, like putting my CD player in a box in my trunk so that I can take it on an hour journey, on an overcast day, and spare the wear the sunlight might cause. So I try to see it differently, afterall if I break suddenly, then having my CD player in a box might be a good thing — a better reason than the one I was given. I still have a hard time doing it though, I’d almost rather replace the cheap CD player. SO, is something wrong with me? Am I failing to see things straight? Do I need to grow up and stop being so rebellious? At what point do we realize it’s easier not to fight tyranny (– unless you have someone else doing the fighting for you? I’m reading Howard Zinn right now, which places a new perspective on U.S. History.)? I don’t know. I like living here though. I like my friends, my students and the many people I’ve met and things I’ve learned. I even wish I could stay with this company for another year. Afterall, look at what I’m gaining from this experience. I can feel the change everyday. Besides the company is not that bad — have you read anything about NOVA? look it up; I could be in a much worse situation.
I realize too, that I haven’t been working nearly as hard as the firefighters in L.A. That’s been really stressful, thinking about that. My family is always in my heart, but especially my dad and brother these days.

Holiday in Japan May 24, 2007

I realize I haven’t written in awhile, honestly I am sorry.
I just have some thoughts, and the title spilled out of my hands as I was very quietly laughing at and analyzing the possible taste of the classically composed version of my favorite Dead Kennedys’ song that I’m listening to right now. I mean what does it say about me that I can listen to this? I like it though, it chills me out, and makes me laugh at the same time. It’s actually kind of good. Now I’m listening to White Riot. It’s great. I guess it’s two genres I need to pay more attention to, punk and classical, in one. I always liked multitasking.
Anyway, Autumn was just here, and we miss his presence already. It’s always nice to have someone from home visit you when you’re abroad. It makes the distance seem shorter. There will always be a tinge of homesickness inside my heart, even on the days when I’m in absolute love with Japan. I actually found my self wanting to caress an orange cone that was blacking traffic in the lane next to me, earlier today, because it reminded me of ones I’d seen back home. It felt to me like a piece of home in this often strange land. I thought to myself: I truely know homesickness now. What else did I want to say…
I think it was something about my pet only breaking out of her cage when we’re in the room. She doesn’t do it at any other time. I’ve accidently left her in the precarious state of possible cage-breakage for hours at a time, and she stays put. She doesn’t even seem bothered about trying to get out, unless we’re in the room with her. I don’t know it’s like she’s content until she’s reminded that she’s seperated from us, then she goes into a fervor.
While he was here on holiday, we took Autumn to see many of Gunma’s famous sites, and wouldn’t ya know, he fell in love with it too. Japan can be quite a wonderful place, afterall.

Hair, Music and Performance March 13, 2007

If you’ve happened to check out the pics link on this page, then you will have noticed that I finally posted photos of my ‘do. It’s ten day old now. I got it just before we went to a Bloc Party concert in Tokyo. I’m not sure that I like it yet. Without a car my options for salons were fairly limited, so I went back to the same guy who’s been cutting my hair, the one I usually disaggree with. I really like him, but though he had trained at an american-stylists school, he tends to be very conservative with his ideas about hair color, and his ideas about cuts. I appreciated this at first, when I thought that he was just keeping me from doing something to drastic that might look awful. But then I realized that we might actually just be having a communication problem, mixed in with the ideas he was trained with of beauty. The first time I asked to have my hair coolor changed to one that was slightly brighter and darker he couldn’t believe it. He urged me to go with brighter and lighter instead. I wasn’t happy. He wasn’t happy either, becuase he hadn’t realized the effect his heavy dyes would have on my hair. When I suggested this time that we go with a darker color, and add some black to it, he was a little bit more open to the idea, but he refused to dye my hair either black or black with a blue tint, and was unbelieving–in a joking sense, we both laughed at– that I’d ever had hair this color before. SO, we went with ‘violet’, which has turned into a deep dark red in my hair, and which I like, but definetly didn’t ask for. It is however what I had asked for a few months ago, when he put pink dye in my hair and it inevitably turned kind of copper.
As far hair cutting is concerned, the first time was a success, but I was bored. I soon asked for an A-line type style, but I had brought in no pictures, and I found that he wouldn’t do this, either because he favors cutting my hair into a bob, or because he wasn’t sure of what I was talking about, or both. Next I tried drawing something and even looked through tons of pictures of Japanese hair styles, only to end up with something I wasn’t so happy with. So when I knew I had to go back to him again, this time I started scouting for styles I liked, and pictures to bring in. And this time he cut my hair to the picture (He’s actually fairly talented, I think), except for my bangs, which he was very insistent about leaving at a certain length. I had to go back a second time with more pictures to assure him that I new what I was asking for, and that I wanted them shorter. He was still hesistant, but did it anyway, and then styled my hair. This is another issue I have but I often let it go, let him style my hair as he pleases, and then I promptly go home and change it. He insists now that I need to straighten my hair, and scrunch it on top. I hate this. He told me that I need to style my hair this way, so that by night it will still have volume. I guess learning about my hair and my face shape will be a slower lesson. So far though, I haven’t had any of the horror stories I heard about when I was being warned about going to stylists here, and it seems that as long as I am confident about what I want and can back up my attempts to communicate that with pictures, I get something very close to what I ask for — which is about the same as what I’ve experienced with stylists in California.
So anyway, I am happy with this haircut, although…
Maybe it could frame my face a little better, I’m not certain. I’m open to suggestions.

The Bloc Party concert was great. We saw the Noisettes at the same show. Funny thing though, we almost missed it. We didn’t, in fact we got there in good time, but we thought we were early. Thank goodness I was curious about seeing the Japanese bands that I thought were suppossed to open.
We had prepared a weekend in Tokyo thinking that by the time the concert ended it would be too late at night to catch a train home. We were wrong. The doors opened at five. This must have been when that japanese bands started. By six, the ’supporting’ band, the Noisettes, began they did a 30 minute set, almost exactly, and were off the stage, and by seven Bloc Party was on. They were having some sound issues with the bass track, which might be why it took half an hour to set-up. They played for an hour, set-up again, and then played for another 30 minutes. We were out of there at around a quarter to nine.
We could have easily gotten home, if we’d raced, but it was nice not to have to.
We had a good day that day. We took a ferry boat up the Sumida River. It felt like extravagance, but in fact it was very cheep. The weather was pleasant warm for winter that day, and I kept nodding off on the deck.
The whole weekend was just what I needed to get me trough to the upcoming recital. This nightmare has been what I have been teaching my kids for the past two and a half months, I’m glad that most of them are still excited about it. Some of them have been dreading it. I feel bad that most of these kids have to participate whether they want to or not, and teachers are forced to teach recital material, even if the kids won’t be making it to the recital. Anyway, it’s almost over. I am very tense about it. My contract is up two weeks after that recital. I know already that there are going to e some issues with some of my kids, one of them will most likely cause a stir. At this point though, I’m ready for anything. I offered to teach the yearly intensive business course, so I’ve got that edge. I don’t feel that I absolutly need this job anyway. It would just be nice to keep it. I’ve made friends here now, and I feel at home most days. Other days, I feel I could easily live in another country. We’ll see. Reed and I are both confident that even if one of my students declares that he hates English and that his dad is forcing him to perform, I’ll still be able to keep my job.

I Can’t Think Of A Good Title March 11, 2007

I just wanted to let you know that Reed and I are still here.
We’ve just been really busy. Last month turned out to be really hectic. We both lost our driving priveldges, and were subjected to the ordeal of having to take driving exams because of our nationality. Reed failed his first attempt at the exam, and had to wait a month before he could take the next one, during which time he had to scheldule driver’s ed., and renew his visa. My license expired two weeks later, not enough time to get things sorted so I could take an exam, which was probably for the best. I am glad that I had training for the test, and knew what to expect before taking it. I only had to ride to work with my boss for two weeks, but if I had failed, I would be looking at another four.
I am indeed very proud of myself for passing the practical driving exam the first time. My boss didn’t think I could do it. He demanded the I take more training hours than Reed because of gender stereotypes he lives by. He was even more upset when I not only declined but informed him that I would also be taking the exam in a manual instead of automatic. He grumbled and shook his head a lot. I also had to fight with the school about it, and I even went so far as to request a different instructor, because I didn’t feel that the man who was grumbling and tisking about my decision to drive a manual, a man who never let go of my steering wheel the whole time I was driving and constantly contradicted himself while making jokes with my boss (hearing the japanese word for woman repeatedly interspersed in the laughing was also a real set-off), was in any way capable of actually teaching me anything at all. And since it was my money, and my boss was forcing my to at least take as much training as Reed had had, I stood my ground. I was not going to except anything but what I wanted.
Then I passed the test. First time, one of three out of thirty. I passed when a group of mostly men had failed, some for their not-first time. I like to think I floored my boss. Well he was really surprised. He couldn’t stop talking about it. The first thing he said was (sorry Reed) “Your score was higher than Reed’s!” I thought he was joking. When I asked him about it later, as we were driving to the language school, he apologized for asking me to take more lessons than Reed. He had honestly thought that I was a worse driver (not that that isn’t true, BTW), but my scores were higher.
The next day he held my hand through most of the process of getting my license. He had to leave, at which point he had his son take over. By this time I’d had just about enough of being treated like I was incapable. Sure it helped to have them there for some things, but mostly as a way to save time. Many non-japanese people were there and taking care of it on their own. I felt very self conscious, and I was really bored. SO, I got a little short. I kept myself from marching up to his son and yanking my paper work out of his hands, but when the time came I did assert myself (without any agression, Yay! And yanking anything out of anyone’s hands is considered as rude in this culture as it would be in ours, only maybe slightly more so because of the custom of giving and, especially, receiving things with both hands. But then, my bosses son felt it was ok to yank my property, my book, my ipod, my paperwork, out of my hands so he could look at it. I actually grabbed my book and later my iPod away and then offered it to him, a gesture I sometimes use to remind children to ask permission). I’m not sure I got the point across, but I felt better about taking care of myself. I had debated it for about an hour before taking action. It’s so easy to just let things go. I had to keep asserting myself, I had to keep fighting. Maybe I was just that bored.
But now it’s three in the morning and I’m tired and incoherent. I’ve just divulged a lot of last week’s frustration. As much as it’s over and done, feel free to speculate, I would enjoy some feed-back. Right now though, I’m so thankful that the license battle is over.

Animate! アニマテ！ February 6, 2007

ヘヘ。
Last Sunday I was inviteed to go on an Otaku (maybe おたく) tour of Tokyo, with some no-shit-it’s-their-hobby cosplay girls — which is kind of different from the Harajuku variety, as far as I’ve seen. It was a fun day. We started at an eight story manga and anime shop in Ikebukero, called Animate. I was introduced to many of the facets of Anime, including plush toys, soundtracks, and costumes. Thankfully, we skipped the male customer’s floor which hosts the manga and anime many people I’ve met back home judge the entire art on (I say ‘art’ because there are many genres of anime and manga).
We got through about three floors when we had to make an appointment for our next destination, a maid bar.
Here’s where I had my reservations. I’m not the only one. I thought for sure I’d have to put up with other women’s legs in my face while I tried to sip some tea. That wasn’t the case. We went to a place called the British Wonderland Pub, but despite the misgiving name, it is a place that treasures almost forgotten traditions of maids and butlers who curtsy when you pass them and are beckoned by bells. As soon as I stepped in I was reminded of a place Reed and I went to in Bath, where we had tea and scones, but were not served my maids or butlers. This little place in Ikebukero was great. My friends later mentioned that they had chosen it, not because it was popular — with, by the way a totally female crowd, though you wont find it in a guidebook — but because it is tasteful. I had to aggree. I cherished every sip of a king-size (I had expected it to be Japanese size) pot of tea. We then went back to Animate to finish our shopping before heading to our next destination in Shibuya.
There were to many things for us to do in one day, but we decided to forego more shopping and instead go to a really cool bowling alley. I love blacklighting. I think I was probably the oldest person in the place. Anyway, we did one set, as I admired and absorbed the surroundings, and then headed off to our final destination.
On our way we stopped by a seven-eleven and picked up some snacks to take with us to the coolest Karaoke bar I’ve ever seen. More blacklights, more glow in the dark paints, more strobes that pulse with the music, it was awesome. I’ve never had such a relaxing and fun time at Karaoke. It was really girly. Many anime themesongs were sung. I think I’ve seen that place in Japanese movies that take place in Tokyo.
Anyway, that was our day. We had a lot of fun. On the way back I got to stop by the five-floor Shinjuku Tower Records, and I found the New Trust CD I was looking for. It was a truely great day.

WoW, can I talk about it? January 26, 2007

A lot has gone through my head since my last post, but I guess I haven’t felt the need to write about it. Or maybe I’ve just been too busy. Christmas was insane, and so far New Year’s has been also.
So what is there to talk about…
I played the role of a happy, cheery, song-leading Santa’s-little-helper-elf for the language academy’s X-mas party. I even had to fix Santa’s pants when they split. Thanks to a Chu-hi and beer vending machine, the humour of the situation, and my friends/coworkers cheering me on, I survived. I really enjoyed being an elf, for the most part.
I hope everyone got their X-mas presents. I was really happy about those. I also really appreciate the gifts that were sent to me. I got a lot of things to keep me warm until winter ends, including chocolate. Thank you.
I think that I may post some pictures of the things that I have knit recently. I have been more brave this year than I was last year. I am trying new patterns, and actually learning more abbreviations. I’m proud of my efforts, though I don’t want to focus on my projects with this page, I think it would be fun to show you what I have been up to.
As far as WOW is concerned…
Buring Crusade just came out, and we are now playing with more of our friends online. I still try not to play too much, but I have created a guild for our blood elves called “hair.” I am having so much fun with that. It has become a much bigger guild than I had expected. I guess it shows that many people don’t take this game too seriously.
Speaking of taking things too seriously…
I have sensed a change in myself, having lived in Japan for almost a year now. Maybe it’s teaching, and meeting many different kinds of people, I don’t know. I feel now that I was really worried I wouldn’t be the person that I felt I should be after having lived in Europe for a year when I first came back from France. I have felt a lot of those tensions dissipate over time, and now, well, I think they’re gone. Which is great. I can’t be anyone other than who I am, afterall. I think my students have helped me see this in myself, which says great things about some of them. Others…Well, I get sick of the royal English social hour (yes, I saw the Boticelli at the Uffizi, blah, blah, blah…meanwhile…), but I’ve learned a lot from them too. I’m becoming increasingly proud of my ‘country’ roots as I age. I often think about what one of my teachers (a sensei of kenpo) said to me about returning home. He told me I’d go back one day. I don’t know that I’m ready to move hack there physically, but my home is always in my heart, and I go there frequently in my mind. There’s a song by Loretta Lynn that I really like. Something about a mountain top she’ll never come down from…That’s not me, but I’m starting to see where she’s coming from, especially about knowing what you’ve got.
I still have a lot of countries to see. And a lot to do.
Finally, there’s a feeling that I attribute to the recent loss of Logan Whitehurst, and his courage. Live well. Carpe Diem, as I read it in a book on teaching and disciplining children.
Goodnight!

Happyloween! October 29, 2006

We held a great party, it was a lot of fun. I’m still recovering, and the place is almost clean. I slept most of the day, otherwise I’d have pics on the Flickr site for you by now. I promise you, they’re on the way.
As for the title of this blog, well my reasoning will be apparent once you see the pics.